FortuneCris

kuamasi:

esteesmi:

Estoy seguro de que NADIE va a leer esto completo… pero lo rebloggeo para tenerlo yo en un sitio que no pierda :P

So I was thinking yesterday about how I’ve never even come close to having a girlfriend, and was beginning to approach the conclusion that the problem must reside in mine own self. I was on the verge of accepting this pessimistic conclusion, when I decided that rather than attempting to come to terms with this unsupported theory of self-defect, I would test it. And so I sat down in front of the whiteboard I use for designing rockets, uncapped my expo, and outlined what a female must be to me for me to love her, and what I must be to her for the feeling to be mutual. I have refined it to three basic qualifications:

1. She must be beautiful. That is to say that she must not only be physically beautiful in my eyes, but she must also have a beautiful character, personality, and morality.

2. She must be intelligent. Intelligent in a way that allows myself to be entertained by her and her entertained by myself.

3. She must be my around my age.

And now, using these parameters, I shall see how many fish there truly are in the sea…(a drastically summarized version).

 

There are 6,583,860,000 people in the world.

20.6% of these people live in first world (developed) countries. The likelihood that I’ll hook up with some native girl from the Amazon or some indigenous chick from rural Africa is negligible, so we must eliminate 79.4% of the current people.

That leaves 1,355,670,000 first world people.  

But remember, 50.24% of these people are male.

That leaves 674,583,000 females.

Only 4.877% of these girls are ages 15-18. And since me dating any younger or older would be weird, 95.123% of the current females must be eliminated.

That leaves 32,899,390 ages 15-18 females.

Beauty in a person is subjective and impossible to define, so let’s say that for me to find her truly beautiful she must be at least 1.5 standard deviations above my normal perception of female beauty. That eliminates 93.3% of the current candidates.

That leaves 2,204,259 girls that, in my eyes, possess a truly beautiful personality and body.

I also said she must be intelligent, so let’s say that she must have an IQ of 115 or greater. This eliminates 86% of the girls.

That leaves 308,596 intelligent women.

Now, the attraction must be mutual, so I must apply the same deviation in the opposite direction. So only 6.7% of the women will find my personality and physical features to be 1.5 standard deviations above their own personal norm.

That leaves 20,676 girls that would like me back.

We must also remember that 47% of girls in this age group are already in a relationship, and therefore must be disregarded.

That leaves 10,958 single ladies.

Also, about 4% of the girls in this age group will be lesbian.

That leaves 10,520 single, beautiful, intelligent, strait females living in first world countries that are my age and would like me as much as I like them.

Now California represents 2.81% of the first world population…

Meaning that there are 296 of these girls in California, or about one every 536 square miles.

Temecula represents 0.26% of California’s population which means that…

There are 0.78 of these girls that live in Temecula, and since you can’t have a fraction of a person, this rounds up to 1.

That’s right. Somewhere in this Goddamn city of Temecula, California lives a single, beautiful, intelligent, strait girl my age that would like me as much as I like them. Statistically speaking, of course. This is not desperation, insanity, a plea for attention, or a complaint about my life. This is the scientific proof of the actual truth. That through all this painstaking research and calculation I have found that there truly is nothing wrong with me. The problem lies with what we have been told. You see, I’m not looking for a fish in a sea; I’m looking for a needle in a haystack.

(By the way, if you happen to be or know this theoretical girl, please contact me immediately.)

Bang!

Yo una vez hice eso pero no tan matemáticamente sino más metafóricamente, conocí a alguien y me rompió el corazón.

Shapow!